I shall blame it on the star

It turned out to be a wrong Tuesday. There was no special sign of bad luck , not even on the calendar.  Things in the office went well, but by 4 o clock when everybody seemed to rush home I didn't feel like going home.

Home. Wish I could feel home lately. Just funny sensation of having to take care of the building because it's not ours. Obliged to wear smiling face for the sake of mantaining relationship which does not seem to go anywhere. I have stronger urge everyday to explode. Will I be able to explode and yet spark the sky like the fireworks?The heat and bang worth its beauty.

A friend says I have to be gentle to myself, let the little girl inside of me articulate her inner voice. I  have to take her hands and follow her dreams.

Another friend says I have to ask for what I want in my prayers. Ask. But I don't dare to ask for more. The last thing I asked for something I thought worth fighting for, I hurt many people and left scars for years.

Should I shoot another star?