Mid-life crisis

I thought I would never have to enter a mid-life crisis. I mean, not me--the bonehead and heart-made-of-stone.

Life has been difficult. I have been struggling for relationship, job, faith, happineses, friendship even for my own peace. You just name it. I have been misjudged, misintrepreted, maltreated, underestimated, accused of doing things don't even cross my mind.

Somehow, whenever I look back, I have always been blessed for God gives me a very meaningful life where I learn about trust, patience, pain-endurance, sacrifice, companionship. The last is about silence and truth.

In the end, it does not really matter anymore what I want. It is just no longer about me or mine that used to be very important and I would fight for.

God seems to listen to me in His own way. After all, I was put into existence for a certain mission, eventhough it has never been clear to me what it really is.

In my journey, I have been arranged to meet special people to accomplish my mission. I have to grow stronger and braver. I will have to try harder before I really surrender. Tears may flow and form a river, but sorrow does not represent the lesson learnt.